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I've been reading a lot lately. I've finally finished The Fellowship of the Ring. It was wonderful and I truly liked Samwise Gamgee. He was so adorable and fiercely loyal. I want my own Sam! Haha. The book engaged all my senses, no wonder I had to read it slowly, digesting each and every word. I'm currently looking for a copy of The Two Towers and The Return of the King. Most of the bookstores I've visited aren't well stocked on the books I wanted to read, they're filled with... mmm... popular books? If anyone knows a well-stocked bookstore, please do tell me!

On one weekend, I finished Lord of the Flies and The Great Gatsby. I never realized that both were seriously depressing. Lord of the Flies really shocked me. I can't believe the things that happened in the book, happened in the book. It was heartbreakingly sad. To get my mind off it, I decided to read The Great Gatsby. Bad move. It was a great read, but very sad, it reminded me of Jane Austen's Persuasion. It was just sad, heartbreaking. Needless to say, both left me depressed for the whole week. sassy_brutality  suggested that I read Jane Austen again, but I decided to put it off. I still can imagine Kate Winslet and Emma Thompson as the Dashwood sisters.

My defense mechanism is replacement (or is it displacement?). So I read Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle. As with his other works, the reading was easy but what's so great about it that his style is misleading to how deep and insightful his stories are. I remember writing down specific passages and recalling them later. It wasn't as depressing. Actually, whenever I read his work, I feel numb, in a good way. I don't feel depressed, just feeling what I should feel. His works can really shake your beliefs.

I followed it with Frank Kafka's Metamorphosis. It was sadly and eerily similar to our current family situation. Up to this day, I'm still thinking about what he meant with that story of his.

Then finally, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. My pillow was wet with tears and my eyes were extremely puffy after reading the last book. Massacre! Everything fell into place. I still find Harry Potter annoying, and his final scene with Voldemort was.... not that great or epic. And Snape... great. He's great. I immediately talked with fellow Potter fans, my cousin Ate Bianca and my officemate Ms. Cham. It was the end of an era. For me, it spanned 9 years (should have been 7 or 8).

I finally read Breakfast at Tiffany's. I've watched the film and I must say that the book is more realistic. I really can't imagine Holly Golightly settling down. People don't belong to people. I can't forget that line from the movie and then Paul came back with "But I love you!" and I felt like saying "So?" It's interesting that in the book, Paul did not have a name. Still, I think Audrey Hepburn is great as Holly, though a bit too old as Holly was in her early 20s in the book.

Curious with the title and influenced by Lost,  I read John Steinbeck's The Pearl. It's pretty simple but true. Distilled.

Finally, I've read Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. I like dystopic novels, mostly because Ayn Rand wrote such novels. I was expecting this super sci-fi book, but it was surprisingly... romantic with a bit of sci-fi here and there. Yeah, there were no explicit love between any two people in the book. But it was more of a love for knowledge, diversity, ideas and in turn, life. I've only read a short story by Bradbury, Here there be Tygers and has watched an episode of The Twilight Zone: I Sing the Body Electric, which he has penned. I was wonderfully  suprised with the book. It's the book for bookworms. I do love dystopias to end. It's lovely to find any work ended with hope. It may not be terrifying as a work ended with ominous foreshadowing, but it's great. I love it.

The last book I've read is The Stranger by Albert Camus. I've actually been pretty antsy to read a book by a philosopher (other than Ayn Rand) so I was happy to be reading Albert Camus. I'm so interested in his philosophy that I even have a quote of his written on a post-it in my cubicle coupled with a drawing I made (haha). one must imagine Sisyphus happy. Now this book made me feel numb, in a bad way. It's absurd. And again, it's sad. Is the universe telling me how sad everything is? Hahaha. I hope not. Still, I believe Mr. Camus is awesome.

I'm reading because I feel that my repetitive practicing of theories, formulas and programming is making my other "side" dull. Wilbur Swain is not enough, Eliza Swain is needed. Right now, I've limited my reading to two chapters a day coupled with hours of studying. The book is Great Expectations. I think the novel is going to be sad too. But I can't wait to finish it.

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I recently realized that I'm attracted to common denominators. I really am.

confidence interval:

tired

Name: Sam
Date: 4/15/2009
Colorgenics Number: 05216347

The idea of togetherness, love, warmth, tenderness and mutual understanding fascinates you but you seem to be embarrassed by the thought of allowing this to appear openly. It would appear that you employ a cautious exploratory tactic in the pursuit of this objective, making sure that you are neither irrevocably committed nor found out.

You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.

The situation at this time is one of considerable distress. You feel trapped and you are looking for some way out. You can find solace in the arms of someone who cares so long as there is no long-term emotional involvement.

Setback after setback has resulted in considerable stress and now you have got to the stage where you are continuously on your guard, not only to protect yourself from others but to protect yourself from yourself. It would seem that many of your unfulfilled hopes and dreams have led to uncertainty and suspicion. You no longer wish to answer to others and you are insisting on freedom of thought. You feel that you are fully self-sufficient and can control your own destiny. You are seeking ways to protect yourself from further loss of prestige and against further setbacks. You have become very dependent and you doubt that matters could possibly get any better in the immediate future and this negative attitude is leading you to exaggerate your claims and to refuse reasonable compromise.

You are fed up with other people trying to influence you and you also feel that it is necessary to protect yourself from the threat that your independence and freedom may be restricted. You would just like to be left alone.

interesting indeed....

confidence interval:	amused
listening to:	The Corrs - Runaway

Seriously, how can they make her the female lead of such an awesome show?!? And she's named after one of my favorite writers to boot. Ugh.

I don't care about how fickle minded her mind/heart/well-being is. Team Darlton, please kill Kate.

I thought Juliet and Jack were awesome. Juliet was rocking her awesome character and Jack finally one-upped Kate by revealing what conniving little bitch she is. Ok, not that exactly, but still.

I especially liked Ben's omfg-john-you're-alive-i-thought-you're-dead-i'm-screwed look and John Locke's knowing smile. Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn are great actors. 

I hope next week's episode will wipe this shit off my head as Hank Rearden would say, happiness is an agent of purification.

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Lost theorizing time. Richard brought Ben to the Temple, could Smoky be a form of Ben's dark, repressed side?

confidence interval:	pisssssed
listening to:	The Shins - A comet appears